A NIGHT WITH SANTO, SAM & ED

A chilly Tuesday night was well spent at a live taping of Santo, Sam & Ed's Worlc Cup Fever at ACMI Fed Square. A football mad foursome, comprised of Evan Binos, Peter Loukas, Terry Karagiannis and yours truly watched a witty episode from the front row, courtesy of Peter hitting on the male security guard about his talent in switching off an i-Phone. Add my SPICE BLOKES FC tee, and we were destined for the front row.

Once seated, Santo come out with his box of special edition Maradonuts and proceeded to spit out trivia questions for a doughnut prize, including the extra special iced doughnut that Peter, Terry and I shared while Evan munched gleefully on a plain that he had scored for knowing Mark Viduka's nickname.

The show itself ran smoothly with many laughs and at teh end of the night much fun had been had.

GP

ROUND OF 16 ALL DONE

Holland 2 Slovakia 1

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249717/match=300111113/index.html

Brazil 3 Chile 1

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249717/match=300061500/index.html

Paraguay 5-3 on penalties (0-0 AET) def Japan

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249717/match=300061497/index.html

Spain 1 Portugal 0

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249717/match=300061498/index.html

CASTROL PREDICTOR SAYS:

PRODUCTS YOU WON'T SEE ENDORSED...

Hi Rooster Boosters!

Want something tangible to remember the World Cup by?

Why not purchase some of the following mementos as endorsed by stars at the 2010 FIFA World Cup:

You've already seen and sampled the Wayne Rooney Disappointmints & the Maradonuts, but try some of these:

The Blatter Deflecto-Cream, for those times when you need a facial complexion worthy of your standing in life, but also need the protection to deflect those pesky claims of insularity and high and mightiness. The Blatter Deflecto-Cream does that and more, with 99% moisturiser and 99% reflectance, this will make you look good and keep you immune from unwarranted criticism.

John Terry Stabiliser - ever strayed on or off the pitch, ever been caught at right back when your man steals into the box and is about to fire into the far corner? Don't let it happen again! The Terry Stabiliser fires anywhere from 12 to 1000 volts of discipline when you stray. Use in either pitch or WAG mode and be the model of dependability for all to see. As used by Ronaldo, Edmundo and recommended by Dr Phil.

Ronaldo's auto bomba, the self-inflater that allows you and your ego to be bigger and brighter than it ever really ought to have been. Whilst effects are variable, it does have potentially great off field benefits that even Craig Foster can't rubbish in a monologue. Comes in one size - HUGE.

The new Speedo range of swimwear for closet divers everywhere. Comes in Azzurri Blue, Selecao Yellow (with Maicon's #2 on the arse) and Cote d'Ivoire Green Envy. Available from all butchers with the FIFA logo.

The Dunga Caffe Milk Frother - want to froth like Dunga when Luis Fabiano and Robinho shirk their defensive duties? Look no further than the Dunga Frothamatic from Sunbeam. With 2 settings, aborrecido (annoyed) and enfurecido (irate), this compact yet sturdy unit has a low centre of gravity but tons of power. When you lift that cup, the caffe will not be spectacular but it will do well.

FIFA edition Cluedo - relive the many injustices of the South African tournament with this revised classic: did Harry Kewell cop the red in the sitting room or in the small room? Was the injury to the face-clutching Ivorian the result of 1 or 2 players? Watch as the tension builds as Sepp Blatter emerges from the curtains, only to reveal nothing in deference to the man in yellow.

Durex has released a new set of World Cup edition condoms dedicated to the shot stopping prowess of the custodians. Experience the surprise element that the Paston fluoro edition brings, or the deep disappointment that comes with the Robert Green ribbed yet faulty unit, or the 'is she ain't she?' roller coaster of emotions that comes with using the Richard Kingston nightstick.

Call now on 13 OPPORTUNISM where the sales team of Tony Pezzano and associates will help with your purchase or log onto www.flagrantmarketing.com

GP

GIVE 'IM A RIGHT THWACKING

The British public have closed the door to blind patriotism and open the box marked 'THWACKING' as they pillory their players and coach after the German debacle.

After the inevitable gnashing of teeth through beer stained lips, an apparnetly 'sober' voice; 'Arry Redknapp, claiming that a Bri'ish coach should take over as he could do no worse than any of the foreigners (cue 'Royal Brittania' here).

Problem is ol' cock that the figures don't stack up.

FOREIGNERS

Sven Goran-Erikkson 2000-2006

- qualified for WC 2002, Euro 2004 and WC 2006;

- WC 2002 eliminated by Brazil in the qaurter finals;

- Euro 2004 eliminated by Portugal 3-2 in the qaurter finals after being undefeated at the group stage;

- WC 2006 emilinated again by Portugal in the quarter finals;

- highest ranked English coach in histroy after Alf Ramsey;

- oversaw the 5-1 demolition of Germany during 2002 WC qualifiers

Fabio Capello

- qualified for WC 2010 with 9W 1L 34-8

- managed first German defeat in 35 years with 2-1 victory in friendly in 2008

- eliminated by Geramny 4-2 in round of 16

LAST 2 HOME GROWN

Kevin Keegan 1999-2000

- qualified for Euro2000; lost to Portugal 2-3 (after being 2-0 up), def Germany 1-0, lost to Romania 203 (again after being 2-0 up);

- resigned with a 39% win% , the lowest for an English national coach

Steve McCLaren 2006-2007

- dubbed 'second choice Steve' after Scolari declined the post and promptly appointed Terry Venables as assistant to garner credibility;

- stumbled through Euro 2008 qualification before a 3-2 loss to Croatia spelt no qualification and the shortest tenure in history of a national coach in England

Sorry 'Arry, you may be a gun at EPL level but the world cup is the real thing.

GP

Maradona not into tactics: Argentina National Team: News: The World Game on SBS

Just in case we had any doubts about the man's stand on tactics.

Maradona not into tactics

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· 4Comments and replies

29 June 2010-AAP

Tactics questioned ... Argentina coach Maradona gestures the shape of a football (Getty)

When it comes to charisma, not many football coaches can rival Argentina's Diego Maradona. But a deep discussion over tactics?

Argentina eliminates Mexico

Maradona ignores controversy

Maradona ready for Germany

Not the man's style.

"Great one, you beast!" you often hear Maradona shouting affectionately at a player during training. Even when a shot balloons over the crossbar, he bubbles with the same infectious enthusiasm.

His critics, who called him a naive tactician in the run-up to the World Cup, could be made to eat their words if Argentina continues its impressive form in South Africa and wins a third title.

Argentina has won four matches in a row, scoring 10 goals - and the tally would've been far higher but for some excellent goalkeeping by its opponents.

Maradona says he himself preferred to be a free spirit as a player. As a result he intentionally won't tell Argentina's latest global superstar - Lionel Messi - what to do.

"I went to tell Messi (at Barcelona) that nobody ever told me where to play. So, I shouldn't have to tell Messi where to play either," said Maradona.

"It was up to him to decide where to play. He's a grown-up. I did it back in my era - and now it's his turn."

The former Argentine captain - for some the best player of all time - has embraced and kissed his players before all the matches in South Africa.

And it seems as though he's kicking every ball in his mind when prowling around the technical area, besuited.

The players seem to be thriving.

Martin Palermo, Argentina's 36-year-old, fifth-choice striker, is a case in point.

Many thought Maradona included him in his squad out of sentimentality - or as a lucky charm - after the Boca Juniors striker scored a last-gasp goal that more or less sealed Argentina's qualification for the 2010 World Cup.

With Argentina struggling to break down Greece in the final group game, Maradona was told by his assistants to bring on Gonzalo Higuain.

Instead, he chose Palermo, who within minutes got on the scoresheet.

The advice from Maradona as Palermo ran onto the field?

"I said, 'Get out there. Finish this match for me'."

It's a far cry from the tactically astute and results-driven approach of Carlos Bilardo, who coached Argentina to World Cup success in 1986 - not to mention the almost obsessively philosophical and romantic vision of football advocated by the chain-smoking Cesar Menotti, who led the nation to the title eight years earlier.

When Maradona got the Argentina job, Bilardo was brought in to help on tactics. But the pair immediately fell out and, even though they're both at the World Cup, it's thought that Maradona is reluctant to listen to his advice.

Whether Maradona's approach will work when Argentina comes up against tactically-savvy Germany in this weekend's quarterfinal is another matter, though.

And it's sure to be troubling the nation.

Asked by an Argentine journalist after the 3-1 defeat over Mexico Sunday (Monday morning AEST) how he would approach the Germans, Maradona snapped, "Let me enjoy this match. Why think of Germany? How about you name the players YOU want."

PAUL THE OCTOPUS

In a German aquarium, English born cephalopod Paul has mesmerised the Germans by predicting the winners of all games involving Germany thus far, including the loss to Serbia. The premise is that Paul chooses a mussel from one of two perspex boxes, the front of which are emblazoned with the German and opposition flags. Pail can not see the flags and without being blase about his prognostic prowess, I can not see the fuss.

If Paul has 8 arms, surely he could also give an indication as to the final score as well.

GP

DE JA VU

Here we go again. Holland v Brazil in a knockout match. Now we're getting somewhere after the fluffy pretenders have been sent packing. Holland were again workman like against the willing Slovakians, with Robben and Sneijder again the focus. As is the case in Brazil, Holland are accused of betraying their ethos, preferring steel to flair. If they make it past Brazil, I suspect these claims to disappear.

HOLLAND 2 SLOVAKIA 1

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249717/match=300111113/index.html

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BRAZIL 3 CHILE 0

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249717/match=300061500/index.html

Dunga cares little for any claims about his side's dourness, although the Selecao did turn on the style against Chile, with a fit Robinho, Kaka and Luis Fabiano starring. The sight of Lucio though squealing like a pig still disturbs me greatly as does all the bullshit simulation that again has plagued the World Cup and given fodder to VB swilling bogans everywhere who like nothing more than bagging football.

For the third time in world cup history, Brazil has knocked out Chile, and Brazil look good to make it past Argentina and face either Uruguay or Ghana.

GP

(CAN'T GET NO) SATISFACTION

The anglo-teutonic rivalry has always been pumped up by media and has meant more to the Poms than to Germany. The German keep more in reserve for Italy, Spain and Holland than for the 3 lions. Still, some moments such as the Geoff Hurst goal in the 1966 have the uncanny knack of representing themselves.

Cue Frank Lampard's delicate chip that was so far behind the line that James Packer's head could have fitted between ball and line with green grass to spare. Still, these things are what define the great game, although FIFA's pigheadedness reigns supreme with Sepp absolving himself of any blame and insisting that the referees know best. Technology used in these instances surley could be immediate, accurate and benefiicial for the game. If Australia II could cross the imaginary line in 1983 then surely the current technology would provide the answer without diluting the flow or human side of the game. Time's up Sepp...

That incident apart, the game was dominated by the Germans, particularly in the tactical battle that had Capello wondering if he had spent time with Pim recently. England had used a 4-2-3-1 that would have helped in nullifying Mezut Ozil. Instead, the 4-4-2 used left gaps between the 2 rows of 4 that allowed Ozil to run riot. In addition, Podolski and Mueller targetted Glen Johnson's right back position to great effect, with coach Loew aware of Johnson's penchant for playing too high. This drew John Terry out of position, Matthew Upson out of position, and there you have goals 2,3 and 4. Why Capello reverted back to the 4-4-2 for the tournament when he had won 8 of 10 qualifiers with the 4-2-3-1 is stupifying. Again it has been proven: the Premier League falls short in providing the grounding for domestic players to succeed in big tournaments. The last English players to succeed at this level were Lineker and Gascoigne, both succesful on the mainland at Barca and Lazio. Don't expect any English players to move though; the money's too good.

A deserved win for a team that should not have progressed past group stage.

GERMANY 4 ENGLAND 1

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249717/match=300061501/index.html

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Germany now go on to face Argentina, who looked ominous against the Mexicans in a 3-1 win marred by FIFA's continued ineptness when it comes to technology. It is one thing to resist technology that would have clarified the Lampard incident, but quite another to replaying Tevez's first goal, a clear offside. The ensuing melee between the 2 benches looked like some baseball skirmish but without the dust, and FIFA's trite response at the press conference shows just how out of touch they really are. Guus Hiddink's call to Sepp to adaot to technology and use it or resign is a refreshingly frank one, and pure Guus. Hopefully the sheep which echo his calls and force change, even if it is in place for Brazil 2014.

Tevez's second goal was the definition of cracker and will feature highly for goal of the tournament.

Argentina to progress past Germany.

ARGENTINA 3 MEXICO 1

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249717/match=300061502/index.html

GP

CASTROL TOURNAMENT PREDICTOR

CASTROL ANALYSIS FOR THE REMAINING ROUND OF 16 GAMES

why footballers should never act

Work this out for me please; players (particularly of an English persuasion) lament the amount of time available for R n R, but have the time to shoot ads like this;

PRINGOALS with Crouch, Anelka, Fabregas & Kuyt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24E8q0vhRss

GP

ps re Anelka, a recent article by a Paris left wing intellectual think tank type mob has questioned if Anelka was unhappy with Domenech, on the basis that he has never been happy in the first instance.

Mmm...think I'll reheat the curry from 2 nights ago.

URUGUAY, GHANA THROUGH

Good to see no penalties needed in the first 2 knock-out games, although that will surely change when Germany play England tonight.

URG 2 STHKOREA 1

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249717/match=300061504/index.html

Uruguay and South Korea played an entertaining game considering the rain. Luis Suarez has shown on the big stage why he is worthy of as much transfer speculation as David Villa, and Ajax will be thankful no one has attempted to poach him thus far. This will probably change though if he pulls off more goals like his second, a majestic curler that had me at the funny end of a hammer drill.

GHA 2 USA 1

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249717/match=300061503/index.html

Another close encounter with Ghana snatching it in extra time, a welcome change from the injustice of penalties. The Yanks ran out of rabbits and hats as Asamoah Gyan's finish over an advancing Tim Howard propelled Ghana into the final 8 for the first time.

Tonight's double feature has me excited. I have not salivated this much since Souvlaki King opened in Brunswick St.

Centrebet.com has England at $11 for the cup and Germany $12 and for head to head tonight they are $2.75 each. Mexico are great value at $7 against Argentina at $1.53. In spite of Maradona's men showing great group form, this is more than a little insulting to the Mexicans.

In a totally unrelated matter, the ALP is now $1.30 for re-election, in dramatically from the $1.90 a day before the knifing of Kev. 'Any other Party', a term that I'd love to see the Mad Monk explain, has gone out from $2.45 to $3.

GP

SPECIAL 1 TV (world cup EP04) Next The Germans

More brilliance from Jose et al;

The Special 1 TV - Next, the Germans

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChaLhnQ92D0&feature=youtube_gdata

GROUP GAMES OVER

Group G

BRAZIL 0 PORTUGAL 0

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249722/match=300111111/index.html

IVORY COAST 3 NTH KOREA 0

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249722/match=300061486/index.html

Group H

SPAIN 2 CHILE 1

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249722/match=300061491/index.html

HONDURAS 0 SWITZERLAND 0

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249722/match=300061492/index.html

Now with France and Italy eliminated, we have the following round of 16 match ups:

URUGUAY V STH KOREA

USA V GHANA

HOLLAND V SLOVAKIA

BRAZIL V CHILE

ARGENTINA V MEXICO

GERMANY V ENGLAND

PARAGUAY V JAPAN

SPAIN V PORTUGAL

Lovely...

GP

AROUSAL V PERFORMANCE

Methinks the cold spoon has worked too well, as the unnecessary fire and aggression has left the game, but with it the creative spark required for a goal. Very few opportunities as the combination of fear and fatigue strangles any excitement out of the game.

Mistimed passes in the final third, pedestrian build ups have Dunga waving his arms about like a badly dressed octopus. Maybe RObinho on soon for Nilmar or Baptista..something has to happen as this game has become scrappier than a game of pool at the Clyde after midnight when the nachos have worn off.

And 0-0 it ends....disappointing. As Fozz said, 96 minutes of your life you'll never get back.

GP

CRANKY COUSINS - BRAvPOR half time

Everyone has had that rivalry with a set of cousins. The ones that think they're smarter, better or have better possessions. Often the union begins with pleasantries but inevitably ends in acrimony. Typically, the parents intervene, with outward congeniality but inward hostility toward the cousins and vicariously towards the parents.

In truth, the game between Brazil and Portugal was always going to have a short pleasant period before the knuckle dusters came out. For all the pundits salivating over the prospect of a beautiful game, they have overlooked the spite factor. Neither team wants to face Spain in the round of 16 and pride is very much at stake.

At the 45th minute, the Mexican referee is making a valiant attempt to outdo Valentin Ivanov, the man responsible for the caartenfest of 2006 between Portugal and the Dutch, where 4 red and 12 yellow cards were issued. With 6 thus far, he is on track at least for the cautions.

Both teams though have wilfully donned the Everlasts, with Dunga dragging Felipe Melo after a challenge more at home in a game between the Jersey Devils and the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Brazil have had 64% of possession and have defended better. Portugal have keeper Eduardo to thank for the 0-0 scoreline after a brilliant save from Nilmar.

Whoever uses the cold spoons to best effect will win.

More later.

GP

ME LLAMAN DIEGO

ME LLAMAN DIEGO

Me llaman Diego

you know me well

78 to 94 through heaven and hell

I wanted mas, I wanted more

but off the field I kept trying to score

My body was a temple

but oh how I fell

Now I lead my nation

and it's just as well

My girls they were sick of me

staying at home

but then my country called me

I'm a dog to a bone

and when we finally made it

after months of stress

I wanted to give it back to the mother******* press

So when the game had ended

the press conference began

I waited for the moment

and my mouth it ran;

'ellos que me chupan

me chupan bien

ellos que me chupan

me chupan bien'

we made it through the group

3 wins on the trot

so wherever you're from

come show me what you got

cos' I'm Diego

I'm the man

in the tight grey suit

you wanna piece of me? you can suck my flute

GP

The Special One - World Cup Edition 1-3

No sport pokes fun at itself better than football. And no one does it
better than the Special One.

Enjoy:

The Special One - World Cup Editions

Ep1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1S2BB34sfH0&feature=youtube_gdata

Ep2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfJlg0UMPFQ&feature=youtube_gdata

Ep3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtjhRxzViFY&feature=youtube_gdata

The people behind this are brilliant. My hat and pants are off in
admiration...

GP

NO ITALIAN JOB

A CASA CON VERGOGNA

(AT HOME WITH SHAME)

It is curious that even after winning in 2006, Italy and its critics never seemed at ease with the champions tag. In effect the world cup was the worst possible preparation for the 2010 finals, with Lippi choosing with no real fixed regimen in mind. It spells a warning for Serie A that unless Italian players are actively promoted, the extended future for Italian football is dim. The English also share this problem, but for a Jermaine Defoe goal and some desparate defending against Ageria they would also be facing the wrath of the masses on return.

Marcello Lippi has already copped the blame Rudd style, stating that he had ill prepared the squad. Not even the 2006 glory will save him the wrath of the Italain public, but a considerable amount of blame must be shared by the players themselves. There are many players on stratospheric salaries who still manage to play a vital role in a national game; Holland, Germany,Argentina, Brazil to name a few. Some ciuntrues however find it difficult to integrate and play greater than the sum of their parts. In 2006 Italy managed to do this, but the warnings from previous World Cup and Euro tournaments had not been heeded.

Where the French demise can be mathematically represented by the Domenech Equation:

FAILURE = 1/(P+D) where P=player petulanec, D=Domenech;

the Italian failure is multifaceted, with blame to spare after Lippi and his players accept their share post elimination as a PR necessity. The problem also stems from Serie A, where the high percentage of foreign players still has deep rooted effects on young talented men coming through. Inter faced Bayern Munich with not 1 Italian in the starting XI (Cesar Maicon Samuel Lucio Chivu Zanetti Thiago Sneijder Cambiasso Eto'o Milito). The absence of Andrea Pirlo meant that Lippi's tactical nous got lost. Without him, the groupgames saw lineups with a 4-2-3-1, 4-4-2 and a 4-3-3 formation, with the inconsistency showing in quite frankly insipid and toothless performances.

That Pirlo was so severely missed is a shocking indictment on Italian football, that only a handful of players with Italian heritage can make it to Pirlo's standing as a playmaker at a successful club. The Spanish place high priority on developing their own. For one Pirlo, La Liga has Xavi, Iniesta, Silva etc etc The German league, while rising in the ranks of European leagues as a destination for quality foreign players, still develops its own Ozil, Schweinsteiger and Podolski. They have missed Ballack's all round presence but have still managed to fill the hole and adjust the strengths of the palyers around him. The Dutch have not even missed Robben and look ominous with his return. You get the trend.

Italy has survived with the blessings of Baggio,of Del Piero, of Inzaghi, of Maldini, of Buffon, but now face a barren period where they look to filling the key spinal positions as Euro 2012 qualifiers come around.

Despite this systemic problem, Lippi must be held accountable also for not choosing Cassano and Baiotelli, presumably on account of their individual focus and Lippi's fear for his team's harmony with them in it.

I used to mock the state of Italian national football when a player with so little to offer such as Angelo Di Livio could get a game. Look at it now. It is hopefully the nadir of Italian football in our lifetime.

In true Italian style, the media will mourn the loss gleefully for a week before turning its sights on the transfer market, spouting lies, speculation and heresay that sells papers in the Italian off-season.

Nothing will have been learned.

GP

ITA 2 SVK 3

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249722/match=300061480/index.html

NZ 0 PAR 0 (first team to be eliminated without losing since Ireland in 1990)

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249722/match=300061479/index.html

NED 2 CAM 1

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249722/match=300061473/index.html

JAP 3 DEN 1

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249722/match=300061474/index.html

AUS 2 SRB 1

Much better. Knowing that the chance of progression was akin to a cinder in snow, it made the game enjoyable.

Great long ranger from Holman alla Mattheus 1990 v Yugoslavia, another Cahill special and for once we have put a big name out of business. The Serbs' antics were awful to watch and despite the 25-10 foul count against us, we can be proud of that performance. Now that ranks up there with Kaiserslautern and Stuttgart as one of our best.

While The Germans were always going to be cautious and not do us any particular favours. Now we can at least present football in a positive light. I can even tolerate the post match wrap with Zejlko, Ned and David (with the sound down) and feel positive about out football. Actually I take the bit about Z, N and D back...

Now for the next chapter.

Group C

England 1 Slovenia 0

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249722/match=300061462/index.html

Algeria 0 USA 1

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249722/match=300061461/index.html

Group D

Germany 1 Ghana 0

http://www.fifa.com/live/competitions/worldcup/matchday=13/day=1/match=300061468/index.html

Australia 2 Serbia 1

http://www.fifa.com/live/competitions/worldcup/matchday=13/day=1/match=300061467/index.html

GP

AUS-SRB 1/2 time

At half time there is hope in the play by Australia for the future, but not in the immediate result. With Germany facing a tough cookie in Ghana, a double dose of 0-0 does not augur well for progression. We are however, playing a better pressing game whilst creating some chances both on the break and through some good build up. Schwarzer though has again had to snuff out at least 3 shots on goal.

The forced change of Beauchamp for Moore has been good, while Jesus has been fairly average. David Carney has copped a bath from Krasic and has drawn Culina and Valeri into a purely defensive role leaving us undermanned when going forward. The reality must be hitting the Johnny Come Lately fans confident of a 2 or 3-0 result with the Germans seemingly rattled at Soccer City.

GP

SIDEBAR - A HARD SELL

Whilst surveying the French fallout to the demise of Les Bleus, I stumbled upon a curious and potentially ingenious example of marketing. Renault has chosen none other than Rocco Siffredi to promote their sixT range, with 5 online mini clips, thankfully showing a different side to the man's armoury. The titles make the Carry On series seem as complex:

1. Je decharge plusieurs fois par jour (I discharge several times a day)
2. Je monte souvent a plusieurs (I like to ride often)
3. pas besoin d'avoir une grosse (it is not necessary to have a large one)
4. le soir, je mets toujours la capote (at night I always put on my coat)
5. les allemandes, je les cravache (the German, I whip him)

While Ron Jeremy has put his name to a range of hot sauces (I kid you not), this is a true attempt at market penetration.

GP