PRODUCTS YOU WON'T SEE ENDORSED...

Hi Rooster Boosters!

Want something tangible to remember the World Cup by?

Why not purchase some of the following mementos as endorsed by stars at the 2010 FIFA World Cup:

You've already seen and sampled the Wayne Rooney Disappointmints & the Maradonuts, but try some of these:

The Blatter Deflecto-Cream, for those times when you need a facial complexion worthy of your standing in life, but also need the protection to deflect those pesky claims of insularity and high and mightiness. The Blatter Deflecto-Cream does that and more, with 99% moisturiser and 99% reflectance, this will make you look good and keep you immune from unwarranted criticism.

John Terry Stabiliser - ever strayed on or off the pitch, ever been caught at right back when your man steals into the box and is about to fire into the far corner? Don't let it happen again! The Terry Stabiliser fires anywhere from 12 to 1000 volts of discipline when you stray. Use in either pitch or WAG mode and be the model of dependability for all to see. As used by Ronaldo, Edmundo and recommended by Dr Phil.

Ronaldo's auto bomba, the self-inflater that allows you and your ego to be bigger and brighter than it ever really ought to have been. Whilst effects are variable, it does have potentially great off field benefits that even Craig Foster can't rubbish in a monologue. Comes in one size - HUGE.

The new Speedo range of swimwear for closet divers everywhere. Comes in Azzurri Blue, Selecao Yellow (with Maicon's #2 on the arse) and Cote d'Ivoire Green Envy. Available from all butchers with the FIFA logo.

The Dunga Caffe Milk Frother - want to froth like Dunga when Luis Fabiano and Robinho shirk their defensive duties? Look no further than the Dunga Frothamatic from Sunbeam. With 2 settings, aborrecido (annoyed) and enfurecido (irate), this compact yet sturdy unit has a low centre of gravity but tons of power. When you lift that cup, the caffe will not be spectacular but it will do well.

FIFA edition Cluedo - relive the many injustices of the South African tournament with this revised classic: did Harry Kewell cop the red in the sitting room or in the small room? Was the injury to the face-clutching Ivorian the result of 1 or 2 players? Watch as the tension builds as Sepp Blatter emerges from the curtains, only to reveal nothing in deference to the man in yellow.

Durex has released a new set of World Cup edition condoms dedicated to the shot stopping prowess of the custodians. Experience the surprise element that the Paston fluoro edition brings, or the deep disappointment that comes with the Robert Green ribbed yet faulty unit, or the 'is she ain't she?' roller coaster of emotions that comes with using the Richard Kingston nightstick.

Call now on 13 OPPORTUNISM where the sales team of Tony Pezzano and associates will help with your purchase or log onto www.flagrantmarketing.com

GP